Sunday, December 28, 2008

W00t Joy Favorite Synths and Gear


In the mode of pure fun and silliness, this PDF presentation salutes creativity, fun and great times playing
live and in studio over the years. This personal collection of vintage synth gear is a small chunk of what great exceeding joy and many W
t moments.
This post features some of the synthesizer, beat box and other gear that have a blazing hot personal W00t factor. Over the course of producing music and massive amounts of alpha waves, good vibes and joy, this collection has been the most fun. Wanted to share this as a PDF or as the embedded display below. There's also a couple of other favorite things in there that are highly W00terrific.

Although the music gear brings about joy, all true joy comes from within as one follows what is in their true nature. Rather than finding joy and happiness outside of you, it happens when you are doing what is effortless and enjoyable. Additionally, there wouldn't have been any great music moments to use this gear with without the incredible group of musicians I had the honor of jamming with over the years. They truly are stars and enlightened beings. Have a look and send along some things that make you go W00t!

You can
where you can flip through it like a book, download it, share or print it



Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Hidden Virtues From the Tao Te Ching


Reading '
Living the Wisdom of the Tao
The Complete Tao Te Ching And Affirmations
from Dr. Wayne W. Dyer (
) has been a joy. There are very special passages that are written pointing to our oneness (great personal theme) with life. In particular,
Verse 16
from the book on page 35 has prompted this sharing. In the preface to the verse, Dr. Dyer has written his impression: 

Amidst the rush

of worldly

comings and goings

I observe how all

endings become beginnings


Become totally empty.

Let your heart be at peace.

Amidst the rush of worldly comings and goings,

observe how endings become beginnings.

Things flourish, each by each,

only to return to the Source...

to what is and what is to be.

To return to the root is to find peace.

To find peace is to fulfill one's destiny

To fulfill one's destiny is to be constant.

To know the constant is called insight.

Not knowing this cycle

leads to eternal disaster.

Knowing the constant gives perspective.

This perspective is impartial.

Impartiality is the highest nobility;

the highest nobility is Divine.

Being Divine, you will be at one with the Tao.

Being at one with the Tao is eternal.

This way is everlasting,

not endangered by physical death.

What a wonderful way to contemplate our true nature in this play of existence. Seems a lot of the awakened sages and masters had a unified knowledge that all comes from the Source. Many names to be sure, but the Source, the eternal includes our connection as one. As always, Enjoy your discovery, enjoy knowing and the direct experience.

One Love

Sunday, December 21, 2008

FUD Levels


FUD – Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt are in no short supply in your real and virtual space. It crawls through every medium and water cooler conversation with its message of separateness, divisiveness and unusual personal complexities. It is a contagion that is big business for media, a scourge for souls and fodder for the mischievous and deceiptful.
In this o
pposite corner of the garden, between infinities, there is a need for one to examine what is true and right and eternal. False gods, ennui and the New Bogus that pass for reality are only ripples of our broiling illusionary false ideals, our steaming pile of FUD.

Fearing and wanting as primary motivating forces are not what leads to clarity, sanity and peace. Both macro and micro views of what we believe is reality contribute only to what is essentially h
idden from yourself. You true self has no need of FUD, doesn't produce it, and doesn't apply it. Your true nature is not fear or lack or anxiousness although acted out, your true nature is rooted in love. Recommend watching the
, or Oneness (we are all connected) as well as other is the series. Additionally, a Slideshare presentation of the poem
can be useful for understanding our connectedness and unity and intentions.

Recognize and find what cannot leave you. Recognize who you are by knowing who you are not. In a previous post titled '
', there is need for recognition that the roles you play and the identity you carry is not your true self.

Only Divine love an comprehend what we are in and out of the duality of existence and bringing us through grace to Oneness. Harmony truly comes when there is a disconnect with a natural state of living, an everyday world through pain, suffering, tragedy, loss, etc. Divine love and harmony are there always waiting to bring us to the reality of the Source, the unchanging and eternal.

One Love

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Medical Brief and Decisions


The PET Scan taken on December 15, 2008 determined that indeed, the cancer nodules are very aggressive and spreading. Since the diagnosis exactly one year ago, it is fascinating, in a disjointed way, to see how cancer moves so fast in the body. Essentially, the
traces the intravenously injected sugar to see where it binds to. The place with the most sugar collected is inspected for cancer which feeds off sugar (in part, although this is way more complicated).

The decision now is to see what can be done to isolate and treat nodules that are starting to split off and spread and to find the best manner for this. In the meantime, hospitalization has been the best course in combatting the
infection incurred as a result of
which is seven kinds of nasty. The extreme diarrhea caused by CDIF and the weight loss on an already weak immune system is pretty rough. Pain management is another concern. Getting these two complications under control was the main thrust this week. More consultations this week and more chemo on the way.

As for staying creative in complexity, a new fresh new second part of the quote series on Vimeo is available. What I call the LifeSeries is quotes found to be helful on this journey.
is the title of this very short clip on my Stillness and Silence channel. More updates soon.

One Love

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Medical Brief- an Update

New medical update this week. No big changes except visited new cancer specialist surgeon at Emory University Medical Center here in Atlanta. Confirmed that the cancer is spreading aggressively to left side of tongue and neck. There was a train of thought that after the removal of the submandibular gland last month, the spread would be halted, however, the aggression/spread is faster and causing falling behind the eight ball rather than be in front of it. The next step is a new chemotherapy cocktail that is completely different fro the previous cocktails used back in April. The previous combination will not be effective as there is a type of immunity built up that prevents the chemo from being effective.

The next step is a review of the current CAT scan, getting a new
to determine how far the cancer has spread. Thus far, it moving into the lungs which had not happened before. There was a point, around May/June of this year as if it was eradicated, but returned in July back on the tongue after chemotherapy and radiation. This is when the right radial neck dissection was used to remove lymph node nodules. It was again halted and from late July, after partial removal of the
from there to late October, there was improvement. November brought more tests and during a followup the
was detected back on the left side of the tongue. Now, there is preparation for another attack at the cancer to get ahead of the eight ball. The decision will involve the use of limited chemotherapy and surgery to remove the remainder of the tongue. So, lots of adjustments to consider. There is the strong possibility that plastic surgery can be used to reconstruct enough of the tongue for some mobility and swallowing-to be determined. It is what it is.

In the meantime, continuing to stay creative amid complexity by composing some short electronic music pieces, some slide presentations of quotes going to
and staying positive and being still in the present moment.
Grateful for Grace, friends, family and the light folks are sending!

One Love

Friday, December 5, 2008

Recycled Into One


As part of the One Consciousness, Christ Consciousness, God Consciousness, Buddha Consciousness, the Tao or the Absolute, we are all connected. In recent posts addressing the state of this shell, the body/mind of this person writing and dialoguing with you, this name and SS#, this being, the play goes on, being. The human part of the human being gets recycled. Whether by disease, accident, unfortunate circumstances or the general way of all passing things, our physical body/mind passes. The being, our essential Self, our true nature, often referred to as spirit is always in a place of awareness and no-time, which is eternity. Eternity is not a 'long time', but 'no-time'. We are connected by our being as by our humanity to each other and all things.

With the body falling away, we will be where we always were, our changeless state of being. the recycling of the body is the arrival of our physical presence on the shore of life for a short while and the receding, or tide moving out is the body's way of being recycled. This natural process is at it is and is seen throughout nature. Our contention with it is that we have a notion of and end to life after he body passes. It s not so. We already are connected to the Absolute, nothing to be done or strived for. The consciousness we are is connected and continues. Our body/mind and the identification with it goes and is no more, but the true Self continues as it ever was. No contention, no striving, imageless, the perfect stillness that came and returns from emptiness. It is with emptiness that the body/mind identification has the problem. Not many can stand to have their carefully crafted identity removed. It our purpose to find the true self, our true nature, which is love and in love there is no fear. In a past post about being

I mentioned that the importance of where we focus our attention on, such as an identity and the 'me' we take our self to be is not the true Self, which is the being, the eternal. Indeed, it would be sad if this 'me' were to be no more. The joy and peace of being comes when we realize that the being, our true nature, love is what we are already, and have always been. It is already done- you are perfect as you are. Explore and discover for yourself by asking yourself in stillness 'Who Am I?” Don't attempt to get an answer like a list, just try the process and see who it is that is this 'I”. Who is it that watches this “I”? Can this itself be observed? You are more than the body/mind, the space you take up and the roles you play. Enjoy your discovery, enjoy knowing and the direct experience.

One Love

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Challenges and Refusal

After a particularly physically
three weeks, this small slideshow of quotes really helped to put things in perspective. It is called LifeSeries for its content of selected favorite quotes encountered online. These quotes, from self realized teachers, masters and amazing individuals, focus on the true Self. Inquiring into the sense of 'I Am' can bring an observation of clear awareness and reveal what it is you are not. Music track by psiplex.

LifeSeries_Quotations About Self Realization from Psiplex on Vimeo.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Complications - Update

While the last two weeks have been rather cheerless with complications from surgery, it has also been very instructive and not without joy. Two Friday's ago, this body/mind emerged from anesthesia to a new world o' hurtin'. More cancer was removed, which in itself is good, but troubling as it means growth has not stopped. It is what it is, and new possibilities are being looked at. There is no ideal situation, but there is a journey.

The body/mind works pretty well with routine. Breaking it, in the form of surgery, different diet, pain management and side effects of same can really throw the natural balance far afield. In this case, that is the case. This new unnatural rhythm promotes different thoughts and physical reactions. Keeping this observation in present awareness allows what is necessary and useful to continue and what is not to be dropped.

The journey alluded to earlier is a mostly horizontal one. Being in bed a good part of the day is not a first choice, but one that is required for rest and recovery. What is realized is: Love is still love, the Divine that looked after me to this point still does, those brave souls who love me continue to do so and there is a new respect for life even in these circumstances. This, in the words of
"is a temporary form for the expression of emptiness". I am aware of this cancer, but I am not the cancer, nor its cause nor its course. My true natural Self is part of life, combined with life and flowing with life. The cancer has an expression in awareness, but is not awareness, which I am. That may be a little tough to steer through, but it simply means that my true nature is life, peace, joy and love. There is no identification with the cancer as a 'me'. It just is. In stillness, in the present moment, I am connected to life and therefore all is being done as it should.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Out of the Hospital – Cancer Update


This past week has been a week of patently unexpected results, of turnarounds and non-linear, seemingly non-connected events. A week of non-conclusive, yet painful strings of events and hints of other things not yet determined. Doesn't sound all too clear does it? Here is how it played out. Went in for pre-op at the hospital around 11 am for a 12:30 start. Met with the anesthesiologist and surgeon, got the party hat and was wheeled into the OR at 12:30 pm woke in recovery about 3:30 or 4 pm and was not really fully awake until about 6 pm. For some reason, always have trouble coming out of the fog of anesthesia immediately. Staff in the recovery room is notified of a permanent room available around 7 pm and up, up the elevator to the room to settle in. My wife, my strength and my best friend in life is crying. She says to keep fighting. I said sure, you know, that's what it is all about. She and the surgeon had talked and it turns out that the sub mandibular gland excision went without a hitch. Real easy going. The unexpected part was the biopsy on the left side of the tongue. That's why my wife was crying. Apparently, the cancer had done a skip-tissue, which was explained to me as hiding or camouflaging itself in the existing swelling and scar tissue only to reemerge at another spot, my tongue.

The surgeon said there is no way (as of that day) to know if they got all the cancer. He said that there are other treatment centers around the country that have an extended program for post surgery skin grafts and experimental programs. With this case, the Surgeon just couldn't tell if the cancer would still use the skip tissue to resurface. After exhausting all of the available chemo and radiation therapy treatments, surgery is the only way to keep up with the cancer. There will be more follow-ups and tests over the next few weeks, but to hear that the cancer is still progressing after all the other surgeries and treatments is still a trip.

Cancer, in this case is like a fight with a championship professional boxer who has an unorthodox style. Kind of like
. Sure, they can do all the basics, but their strength is their unorthodox style in which you get hit from somewhat impossible angles- you never see it coming. Oh, their defense is good too, so what you throw back might not get in. The non-linearity of cancer's patterning is one of its deadly strengths. So now the process is to be aware of any changes and keep the followups and options on the front burner. Thanks to all you who have sent personal E-mails! Grateful for your love, support, prayers and strength! Gonna be wobbly for a bit, but should be able to post more shortly.

Click on the link to
Health System's article on dealing with a family member's cancer during the holiday. Thanks for checking in!

One Love

Thursday, November 6, 2008

The Battle Rejoined – Cancer Update

Jets and Helicopter Image

This week brings another chapter in focus on my ongoing
and survivorship with head and neck cancer. Learn more about a general description of head and neck cancer at
web site
as well as the
, the
link as well as the
During a follow up visit to the ENT (Ear, Nose, Throat) surgeon about 6 weeks ago, there was a concern over some scar tissue and swelling in the region under my chin. Previous surgeries for the right radial neck dissection and
(partial removal of the tongue) along with the radiation treatments seemed to have impacted this area under the tongue and below the chin called the
.This is one of the glands that make saliva to help break down food. In this case, the subsequent swelling and closing of the gland has caused a lot of discomfort and is not alleviated by a standard prescribed steroid called
. After six weeks of various antibiotics and Prednisolone, the sub mandibular gland is still defiant. The only solution, at this juncture is to have it removed by surgery. The procedure itself is not a drastic one, nor necessarily painful and will allow the other salivary ducts to 'take over' and create saliva even when this one is removed. The surgery is scheduled for this Friday, with about a two-day hospital recovery expected. Previous surgeries and the nasty radiation treatments will make this a bit tougher, but not impossible to recover from. Seems the more surgeries after treatment makes the system have to work harder for healing resources to spring back, but it is all possible with good rest, care and nutrition and exercise. Stitches come out in a week and everything gets back to 00.

So what is the current state of affairs? Here is a quick breakdown:

: None, why? It is what it is. The Source that has brought me this far in this eternal present moment is sufficient to do the same. All out of my hands, so there is nothing to do but live fully in stillness in this present moment in joy, peace and thankfulness.

Past thoughts
: Looking behind me, there is no past to convict, taunt, worry about or consider. The past is just a thought like a passing cloud over a blue sky. I may notice a wisp of cloud and go on my way. There is no past, good, painful or otherwise. This present moment is sufficient :-)

The Future-Worries and To Do's
: The future is a thought projection that falsely creates a scenario of what 'I' will be if there are no actions/some actions taken to be a 'better self'.
outside of necessary schedule planning and preparation, there is nothing to consider. My 'Self' is present and aware right NOW, the future is just another present moment. If one is not happy in the present, the future can only ever be another present moment with a different calendar date. Learn more about being aware and joyful in the present moment with these previous posting on Psiplex:


These posts point to finding your true nature, who you are beyond the narrow and limited description of the 'me' you identify with.

Sure, going in for surgery is never a welcome prospect, but in battling and surviving cancer, the battle must be engaged, the process trusted to the Source and the awareness, acceptance, and lessons of the journey apprehended in surrender and gratefulness. Resistance to this is morbidly stupid, as
what to be got to be
(Bob Marley). So, presently, there are not worries, just a quiet observation of the facts arising in consciousness and a joy and bliss in being here right NOW. New posts next week!

One Love

Monday, November 3, 2008

Recognizing Your Self


Put together a new short video clip around the subject of '
Recognizing Your Self
'. The 'Self' being the true nature of who you are without identification of the role you play in everyday life. 'Recognizing Your Self' is a collection of quotes from the masters that point to realizing the true self – Who you were before you adopted the 'me' you think you are.
a lot of this ground has been covered in the previous post called '
' which you can check out by scrolling down or clicking the link.

This clip appears on the Psiplex Vimeo channel called '
' as well as the
The most important factor to consider is taking a look at what dissatisfaction there is in the current state of life and following the self inquiry “Who Am I?” to discover what it is you really, really want from life and the path to your purpose in life. It is my wish that the quotes shown in the video will inspire and point to what you may be looking for – your true self behind the veil of illusion.

The links in the video from quotes of self-realized masters are as follows:

Please leave your views on searching for what it is you are not, and what you discover.

One Love

Friday, October 31, 2008

Don't Fit the Profile

LinkedIn image

In updating my
profile, there is a realization that a lot has changed over the past 10 months. This realization brings up the point that unlike most
, I no longer fit into a bright, upwardly arcing, potential-rich profile. What has changed? Well, for one, I am no longer actively self-employed, employed by an outside company or freelancing as a hired gun in any meaningful way. I have no outside income from these practices and I am not actively seeking employment. There is no active Résumé, no list of accomplishments in which to seek or entice a respected employer. There is no one at the office working to be a better office worker. There is a dearth of professional accomplishments added to the story of 'me'. Oh dear, what is to be done? Admittedly, I am
what networking should be - I am, as it were,

What can this mean? Well, for one, there are no engagements, meetups, conventions, seminars, interviews, frantic emails or tweets, no second interviews, or followups on this calendar. It appears that I have failed the number one priority of LinkedIn, in which one actively constructs relationships with desirable professionals who will in turn consider one for future opportunities. To whom does this position offer value? To whom might this condition of
be useful? There will be no Harvard Business School grads or Fortune 500 companies actively searching my credentials and skill set to hire me for their next big design project. Boo hoo.

In considering our relationship to the purpose in life, our life purpose, there arises a sense of balance and clearness of purpose, of
. As with previous posts '
', and '
An interpretation of this search for the true self is explored. Discovery of our true nature, our natural state of being, is of the utmost importance and can be considered the path of life purpose- your alignment with what is and acceptance of your purpose to and in life.
The previous posts all dealt with using the self inquiry of 'Who Am I” to get to the point where you know
what you are not.
Once this is made aware to you, there is a deeper understanding of the true self, that which is beyond the misinformed, misdirected and mislabeled identification with a false, external 'me'. Using the present moment as a springboard for this self inquiry, one can find that the true 'I' is far more expansive and 'real' than the reality our conditioning would have us believe. All the rest of our roles we play on a daily basis fit inside life, not the other way around. Our roles as Manager, Mommy, Daddy, Grandparents, brother, sister, professional all fit into this container of life. Work is not life, well, not for everybody. There is nothing external to life that you are defined by in reality. You may associate certain thoughts, patterns, behaviors and beliefs, all coming from the mind-made projection you call your life to life, but it is not. There is the Being part of the human being that is causeless, changeless, aligned with the Source of the Universe and beyond the need for an identity other than what it is. It just is, Being means that you can just 'be'. Nothing to add or do in order to be who you really are- consciousness aware of consciousness aware of itself in consciousness. It doesn't even require a name. Oneness- connected, done.

The last 10 months of battling head and neck cancer has been a journey to find the real purpose of life beyond this identification of 'me'. Who Am I? What is my relationship to the purpose of life? Am I really willing to love? Am I really ready to let go of the false self that is a SS#, a male, a graphic designer, a cancer patient, a tax payer, a statistic? What is there beyond this? These types of questions lay bare any and all pretenses that surround the purpose of life and one's purpose to life. Facing the falling away of this mortal body, what is there really to cling to based on my profile on LinkedIn? Is being dead or half dead a reason to be conflicted about one's profile? Sure, there is relevance to being fully immersed in life, having a successful career, raising a family and perpetuating oneself beyond this timeframe of existence. To be honest, what really matters is that one can awaken to the true reality of 'Who Am I' and be at peace with the results of this inquiry. Knowing, as Mooji says, 'That which is can never not be' is the primary result of not being overly concerned with being dead or half dead and needing to it to be 'okay' within a social construct, a concept.

What has occurred in this healing/surviving cancer process is that what is not a part of life, what is not true, what is not love, what is not peace, what is not joy, what is not health, what is not oneness, what is not acceptance, what is not spirit, what is not eternal has fallen away. I look behind me on my morning walks and there is no past to convict, no future to obsess about, no worry about what will be or will not be. It is what it is. No great displays of visions, fireworks, old poets, holy emanations, burning shrubbery or pillars of smoke or flying saucers. The mind ceases to chatter incessantly, there is more expanse for the beauty of each new moment, each new day, more stillness and an appreciation for the space surrounding things and the things contained within those spaces. Simple, honest gratefulness for the present moment and a love and trust that the NOW is perfect, nothing to do, nothing to strive for, nothing to be changed, nothing to contend with or strive to 'be'. In fact, there is just being- which is a full time occupation. There is no regret, no remorse, no sense of right or wrong, no caring or not caring. It is and that's fine. So I guess 'being' has become an occupation, if one finds that necessary. There is also the seeking aspirant who is being broadened and deepened to understanding and knowing of self realization. 'Who Am I' is the gateway to discovering what this journey holds. Until next time, it feels pretty good to be UnlinkedIn.

One Love

Monday, October 27, 2008

Zomperz and the Voodoo Queen

Over the course of self inquiry and getting to know, on a personal level, the reality of 'Who Am I?', the last few weeks have brought insight, awareness and blessings. Self inquiry is, for the most part, a way of finding out what one is not and knowing the true self. Reflections and observations are meant to clear any blockages and examine what remains. Our personal relationship to the willingness to love (in totality) is definitive of how we flow with life. Opening to love is the open door to life, and expansion into life. Resistance to love or fear is a lessening, a contraction of what that potential is. What we see in ourselves as true in this regard can be seen in others. We are all connected so what is true about the totality of truth and the nature of love is true universally. There is only one source.

Wanted to share a recollection of two distinct and memorable individuals encountered while working years ago in video production. These two people, a dude I'll call '
' and and a lady I'll call '
The Voodoo Queen
', were two keen examples of soul, humanity and coming to grips with who we think we are. There are no judgments or condemnation of the characterizations and the actual individuals referred to as Zomperz and the Voodoo Queen, as they only acted on what they knew ho to do. Their story, intertwines with the process of self discovery and the seeking of the true nature of our being.

At the time of encountering these folks, I was not really in a place to offer them much more than respect and a kind of space to have as much room as they needed for their space. Perhaps the following can be seen as judgmental, but now, in the present moment, there is only love and respect for them.
Zompers and the Voodoo Queen are two opposites of egoic personality traits (they themselves are fine and perfect) one being an extremely extroverted personality, the Voodoo Queen, and Zompers being the opposite. This is their tale.

Two extremes of personality. The internalized emotional recluse and the bombastic, on the edge extrovert both operating from sadness, fear and a false sense of control. Both sought wholeness. Both did not realize that they are whole, but chose to identify themselves with a mind-made image of who they perceived themselves to be. The human and the being in them are not integrated, not understood to be whole and the resulting forms identified with each of these persons lead to their fear-based actions and suffering.

Zomperz was self destructive in that he did not want to look at the true cause of his suffocating sadness, experience it fully, or go deeper to transcend it. Going deeper, looking at what is bothering oneself, finding a willingness to do so is sometimes enough to start the inquiry as to why one is suffering and experiencing separateness and anti-social behavior. It is private and one has to find the strength to surrender to this very vulnerable but necessary clearing process. Usually, this involves the assistance of trained professionals, however the human spirit is capable of undertaking the journey. Zomperz amazing ability to wall his being off from others was the result of his internalized pain that he chose to believe was his true self. His suffering, palpable and persistent, radiated such an agonizing energy, he repulsed nearly everyone he met as no one knew how to approach his internal suffering on that intense level. No one truly wants to be around somebody so emotionally scarred and negative that they cannot even recognize another in the room, let alone communicate. So contracted and withdrawn was Zomperz that he identified with the suffering as his true nature. He became it. He radiated it. It oozed from him. Of course, odd behavior of diet, obsessive/compulsive practices, peculiar self-destructive comments and a thousand mile stare gave his countenance the appearance of someone deeply disturbed and haunted. Yet Zomperz needed the company of others because he could no longer stand what he let himself become. On one occasion, he stalked a crew member's girlfriend he was obsessing over and had a restraining order placed to keep him away from her. There was a lot bubbling under the surface of a disturbingly quiet exterior. He craved separateness, but hated to be alone. The days and nights lost in thought only made the walls higher, the world pushed back further to the edges of the Zomperz universe. The sadness and emptiness were so palpable in Zomperz presence as to feel it within a few yards of his physical body. By shunning all approaches of folks who sought to alleviate his suffering if only through a chat or cup of coffee, Zomperz 'controlled' his world view and his idea of his sad sack self exactly as he needed it to be. Zomperz false sense of control only left him more guarded and paranoid about what others said about him. By not going deeper into the actual cause of the sadness and the possibility of transcending it, Zomperz was swimming in the 'deliciousness' of his suffering and tasting it daily. His suffering self was more real and acceptable than his true nature, unconditional love.

The Voodoo Queen, on the other hand, sought attention and conflict to feed the external and separate idea of herself almost every minute. Her total separateness, while similar to Zomperz, was from the same unconditional love in her extreme extroverted self. Conflict fed the Voodoo Queen's need to manifest herself larger in the world by being aggressive, loud, emotional and supercharged. In an excited state, there literally was no room for another personality within 20 feet of her. Alternately or consecutively a superior high-powered bible-thumping teacher and an abused victim, she used both polarities in service to raise or lower herself above each person she met. If the person she encountered were to be considered above or below her pre-defined status, she adopted the explosive bible quoting teacher role or the hapless victim of sorrows. Her willingness to look deeper and transcend her sadness was avoided, like Zomperz, as long as she could focus on her persona as the strident, bombastic evangelical firebrand or the weeping victim cursed and outcast from society. Usually dragging her two teenage daughters reluctantly behind her in a trail of tears, screams, chaos and dynamic public outbursts of emotion, the Voodoo Queen with daughters in tow was a maelstrom of unfocused energy. The Voodoo Queen was an enigmatic public access television personality who completely identified with her mind made persona. She was the spiritually enlightened caribbean bible teacher and the cast away, persecuted victim of the American Government system of control. Both of course, were a type of mental construct meant to make greater or less than anyone she encountered. This fulfilled her ego's need to have power over/under anyone she came in contact with. She could be a supplicant when she did not understand how she could satisfy herself through the use of the public access studio and personnel or demanding and virulently oppressive when she could use the system to her advantage. Both approaches avoided the need to look internally at what was making her sad and unrealized in her true nature which is unconditional love. Just easier and more ego satisfying for her to go on with the delusions. She left a trail of lawsuits and counter lawsuits in which she demanded restitution for all who has slighted her and a reprieve from the oppressors who sought the removal of her freedom and personal liberties. Each of the daughters were also accumulating an impressive amount of legal attack and defense scenarios in their young lives compliments of Mom's conditioning and hand-me-down fears.

At the parting of ways of these two personalities, both had not yet come to the realization
that they were operating from a limited and narrow self view. Suffering has a way to bring the being to a place where it cannot be tolerated any longer. Like Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie, suffering can be the catalyst of change and personal liberation. Perhaps on their individual journeys, Zomperz and the Voodoo Queen have found liberation and the true nature of their being, unconditional love here in the present moment, the wholeness and joy of NOW. They deserve it. No one deserves to suffer.

Today, I realize there are a lot of Zomperz and Voodoo Queen archetypes that operate out of a sense of separateness and sadness. Again, there is no judgement, only the knowing that this sometimes leads to a real awakening of the true self. It is as it is. Knowing too, that my connectedness to all of humanity must be dealt with in respect, humility and service to others with sincere love and gratitude. No one is perfect in all aspects of the journey.
The deeper we go into the present moment, the only time we ever have, the more we can realize our true nature is love and connectedness.

One Love

Friday, October 24, 2008


Changeless is a series of quotes from spiritual teachers and others who are pointing toward our true nature and awakening. Accompanied by the original music track '
' from Psiplex, this short clip is shared in respect and love for who you are -you. Please take a few moments to view the clip and read further on the blog for more subjects like the '
' and finding
in ordinary life. Please share your experiences in the comments link below. One Love!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Comics - A Reverie

Comic Heros

The Friday evening ritual usually began around 7:00 pm when My Father would drop over to my Mother's place to pick me up for the weekend. After initial greetings, he was promptly fleeced for three dollars so I could make the pilgrimage to comic book heaven, also known as the Meinz Drug Store on West 7
Avenue. Nestled among the declining skyline, the drug store was presided over by Mrs. Meinz, a short, terse woman in her 60's who was quite a beautiful but inscrutable character. Mrs. Meinz typically had a small flock of compatriots with her throughout the day at the drug store and they babbled incessantly no matter what time of day one entered. Although the small comfortable store had an old fashioned soda bar where, depending on the mood of Mrs. Meinz, might offer refreshment, it usually did not. Unexpectedly down for whatever reason she determined, it would suddenly become available if she knew you, but only if it was quick, wasn't messy and you had pretty close to exact change. The cash register, at the entrance of the store was a walk she didn't really want to make, so having change ready was better if you wanted a delicious bubbling Coca-Cola or a ice cream sundae. Just don't overdue the requests, got it? 

The most delicious aspect of the pilgrimage, however, was the super-up-to-date comics at the comic book alter- the big magazine rack that magnetically pulled and beckoned the second after entering. Row upon row of super heros, adventures, space battles, movie comics, rare issues of comic periodicals and the thrilling surprise of the very latest issues. If you missed one week, coming back always promised you could catch up and there were always the past issues available to catch up with.

The most incredible magnetism pulled this 13 year old through the door to zone out on the supercharged racks of the comics offering an oasis in a world of rules and baffling life circumstances. It wasn't the direct result of a demographic assault on the target demographic (me and my buds) as it was a direct influence of the overwhelming magic of the comics themselves. You see, they were a vehicle of rare transport, a way out of the mundane and stifling world of ordinary teen foibles, confusion and angst. Just getting near the row after row of pulsing, life giving comics racks was enough to make the heart race, the mind sparkle with energy and the oily, wrinkled dollars issue forth from jean pockets. Each Friday evening, before going to stay at my Father's house for the weekend, (parents separated, then divorced) the quick run up to the drugstore to purchase comics was the safe assurance I would survive the utter adult-created boredom of the weekend. This weekly pilgrimage to see what had been released, what issue was continuing, what begins, what concludes was a journey of intense purpose and meaning.

Comics and
were a language spoken only to the hearts of those who dared receive their mystical powers. The writers and illustrators so good, so skilled, their efforts were transparent to the beautifully crafted stories that buoyed our school-soaked lives, liberating us if only temporarily. A direct marketing push wasn't effective. The incredible insight of the writing combined with the visceral illustrations packaged to perfection by the editors and publishing were the sought-after addiction we all craved and loved. Today, many, many years later there is great gratitude and thanks to the comic industry that provided the coolness, imagination, wonder and pure magic that inhabited our lives. Without the wonderment and sweet imagination of these good folks, life would have been lessened in a measurable way. I have an
! Hats off to all of the folks in the industry who have given us this wonderful life boost and journey. Mrs Meinz would approve.

One Love

Friday, October 17, 2008

Infinity Deep


Owning your life experience brings one to the fulfillment of our human longing to be whole. What is it you really, really want? Basic to our humanity is love, freedom and to be a part of the inclusive whole, the connection to all life. Wholeness being totality- mind body soul in complete harmony and alignment. No conflict with anyone or anything. Oneness. Needing these qualities causes invites a great deal of problems that relate to our perceived separateness from them. The 'human' portion of our human being is the most afraid because the oneness wrests control away from the human's ego, or mind made self. We are the totality but have a false sense of a limited self identified as 'me'. We are taking the belief, an idea of 'me' as the totality which causes suffering and confusion. The 'me' we take to be ourselves is but a fraction of the whole and yet convinces us we are whole if only we do more, achieve more, invent a better personal self. This identity with this image of 'me' leads to separation from the whole and is perceived as 'me' and 'others'. Protecting this 'me' and its accompanying ego becomes the main focus of some lives. It is not freedom and it is not the way to success achieving freedom.

Being an achiever and a success is a conditioned role we adopt which results in taking us away from our true nature. Ever notice that doing something you love requires no effort? Playing a role at home, at school at the office that is really not you is full of effort. By accepting a role that is not truly who you are in reality, you suffer and lose alignment with the natural harmony you have just being you. Refusing to acknowledge the power you have in the present moment, the truth of the moment-Now. Basing the false sense of accomplishment in a past or future event is again, suffering.

Canadian spiritual teacher Burt Harding has a great series on YouTube that explains a lot of what this article points to. Burt Harding has over 300 video clips available for viewing at the
Simple, humble, clear and concise, Burt Harding speaking on love and our true nature is worth a look. No saint / guru/leader issues or even an ego at all, just an informal, gentle wisdom in lessons. Easy to get right to the lessons without any crap. There are also free PDF teachings at
to download for free.

has been an open door to explore the question at the beginning of this article “ What do you really, really want?” Honestly, to know who 'I' really am, to know the truth about life, its purpose and what I owe to life. So what is it one can do to find out about the true self? Just be. Ask yourself in a quiet moment 'Who Am I?” investigate and feel it through, surprise yourself. in a still quiet moment, honestly ask yourself this simple question. Just be. Listen and be.

One Love

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Drop the Concept


To collect and distribute concepts has made a lot of players big bank. Collecting and repackaging content has become industries within industries perpetuating the seed until it is unrecognizable and perfidious. The purchase of concepts has taken reign over many who strive for better ways of delusion. The collection, distribution, purchase and use of concepts has artificially illuminated dark patches of shadow that never existed outside of energy stirred up by concepts. The collection, distribution, purchase, use of and practice of concepts has given rise to the mind's world.

The abandonment and dissolution of concepts has made a lot of players big bank. Abandoning and dissolving concepts pays the individual in seeing, awakening and truth. Only those abandoned and dissolved concepts are transparent enough for seeing, awakening and truth to shine through and permeate. It is in the letting go that the merging takes place. Like letting a garment fall off the body, the dropping of a concept and breathing in of the inexistence of the concept is liberating as it returns the one to the fullness of being. At and in the present moment, no pretense, no conflict, no concept, no reason to be other than now. No magic, no trumpets, volleys or visions from Dreamworks or ancient mystical globs. You, the real you in stillness, in gratitude, in timeless peace. The real nature in you
. Providing this quote from one of the greats- you can read a poem about the 'Bidi Baba', Sri Nasirgadatta Maharaj called "
on Wikipedia.

"The very idea of going beyond the dream is illusory. Why go

anywhere? Just realize that you are dreaming a dream you call the

world, and stop looking for ways out. The dream is not your problem.

Your problem is that you like one part of your dream and not another.

Love all, or none of it, and stop complaining. When you have seen

the dream as a dream, you have done all that need be done."

"Your own self is your ultimate teacher. The outer teacher is merely

a milestone. It is only your inner teacher that will walk with you to

the goal, for he is the goal."

from A
Net of Jewels

Friday, October 10, 2008

Look What I Did! Controlled Delusion

Balance of Yin and Yang

Continuing from
....What is your current position on how well you are controlling or not controlling your life? Why is it important to you? These discerning questions are
meant to corner you so you can begin to see. See what? Who you really are behind the veil of your mind made illusion you wear, show off and are deeply in love with. You think you have some special skills or powers that others envy or desire. You imagine yourself to be a leader of some sort in your crew or walled-in world you have manifested. You think your are somehow real. You set all kinds of wicked records and high marks at school, at the office at your mosque at your synagogue at the course, in the game, at the strip club. Look What I Can Do! Young and old alike drunk on showing off their mettle, prowess or gifts and how they shine so, so brightly. Smoke.

Ready or not, here it comes, you can't hide. From the depths of the fire.

Who Am I? Answer that honestly without your mind as a tool to figure it out. Sit quietly, get still and ask this until you can't hear the chatter of your mind respond with its facade of concepts that veils your true self. Gonna find you and take it slowly. There is a very sobering yet beautiful explanation from
that illustrates a pivotal point of this encounter with the self, the inquiry of the self and what is found at last. Beautiful quote there that states: “May you never find what it is you think you are seeking, but rediscover instead the eternal presence of your own absence.”

Ready or not, here it comes, you can't hide. Gonna find you and make you want me.

As we looked at last time, t
he mind as a tool is very good at trying to control as many factors about our life as possible. It is useful, practical and healthy. Factors such as weather conditions, behaviors of others and natural disasters cannot be directly controlled by the mind. What the mind's idea of control means to each individual is different, but the same across all beings and cultures. The “Who Am I” inquiry helps peel back the layer of who you are, who you think others think you are. Find out the one who sees.

From the depths of the fire. Gonna find you and take it slowly. Then one can see the lotus land without leaving a ripple on the surface.

This zenrin poetry is on it:

For long years a bird in a cage,Today, flying along with the clouds.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Apparent Loss of Control


Losing control is so bad, right? Being past the point of comfort and far away from your normal center in public can be scary and panic laden for some. Loss of control in any form in public, in your private moments, among friends or competition is usually avoided as one of those thought patterns that take away our ease, our 'Me'. Who would we be if we didn't care enough, didn't control how we acted or were perceived? How will others see us if we lose control? Weak? Stupid? Non-professional? Less than? Foolish and capricious?

What about losing control of attachments? Attachments that tend to own more of who you are than what is owned. Still bad? Losing the control of the impulse to add to things and thoughts to the idea we have of our self to amplify that self.

Wanting, desiring, searching for what might better serve our selves in the future is a constant pastime for most folks simply trying to make a better life, a better future, a better illusion. What gave you the idea that you were not complete and needed these things you seek? There is no judgement involved in these questions, rather just a start of an inquiry that may assist in defining in a more real capacity of who you really are in relation to what is or not is in control in your life. 

This is a low grade intellectual exercise, but there is a deeper component to this path if carried out as a personal inquiry. A bit more on that later. For now, what is your connection to control in your life? Beyond the obvious and necessary control events needed to function and maintain health and safety for all involved, the need or desire to control beyond these stages bear further examination. The examination can be helpful in freeing up some blocked chunk that put a veil over why you are actually trying to control objects, others, time and needing to be viewed and understood a certain way to fulfill the ego.

The questioning about what place control has in your life can answer many questions about you connection to purpose and life. What am I trying to control? Why Am I doing it? What am I gaining or losing from controlling or suppressing stuff and urges and others?

The mind as a tool is very good at trying to control as many factors about our life as possible. It is useful, practical and healthy. Factors such as weather conditions, behaviours of others and natural disasters cannot be directly controlled by the mind. What the mind's idea of control means to each individual is different, but the same across all beings and cultures. What the mind will do is process a storm of thoughts which produce the lightening and heat of emotions that make us believe we can control the situations by making us 'feel' one way toward them.

For example, you are planning to golf Saturday, but the weather changes and your car breaks down on the highway in the pouring rain on the way to the golf course. Can't change the weather can you? But the mind will still try to exert control by making your emotions label the situation or yourself as angry, victim, a cosmic joke, abandoned, etc. If you allow yourself to follow the emotion, you will regain control over the situation through an emotional, thought-based reaction. Now you are angry or sulking or feeling abandoned by the universe because you didn't get your wish of playing golf in the sunshine. But you 'feel' closer to 'Me' as the role of the angry victim whom no one understands. Boo hoo, but it's not the
you. All that happened is that circumstance, cause and effect has taken place in the physical causing your apparent loss of control in the situation. This existed in the mind as your 'Me' gloriously flailing in the golden sunshine and deep admiration of your friends on a perfect Saturday playing a championship round of golf. Now it has changed and you are waiting by the side of the road for a tow to a service station and a hit on your wallet, and you're catching a cold.

There is a further, very personal exercise of inquiring about the 'Me' and who that really is - and it is not a mental exercise. This inquiry involves a real dedication to finding out who exists behind the eyes that see out into the perceived world. The inquiry has a way of showing how and why you think you are separate from others and why you think 'Me' is real because you have a name, SS# and a heartbeat. We can explore this more in depth in a future post. In the meantime, what is your current position on how well you are controlling or not controlling your life? Why is it important to you?

One Love

Monday, October 6, 2008

All Ever Is


Looking at Wikipedia from another site for a reference about an Indian guru-type guy who was a shopkeeper in Bombay, India. He sold
cigarettes (also spelled Beedi) which are hand rolled tobacco cigarettes in a leaf. He was like a regular family man and he had this unique experience where he saw he was one with the universe. Such a beautiful life/mystery lesson. I read more about him and through reading the poem came up. Just what I was feeling after reading stuff at the
Love it- In his photos, he has this piercing gaze, but apparently, he was full of love and wisdom. Photo of the bidi is courtesy of
- Many thanks!

Poem Alert!

All Ever Is

Bidi cigarettes from the small shop

in the alleyway

Old Bombay


The universe delivering

the unmanifested

to the all through

the little man, itself

upstairs in a room

over the small shop

up stairs to heaven

out within consciousness

Who is this ever?

Why, all ever is

Even from before, he speaks

I am That

_ _ _ _ _

One Love


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